The Hilary Duff sex tape

Edmonton Oiler forward Mike Comrie (last seen in this blog involved with another girl) took a break from missing games due to mono in order to propose to his longtime girlfriend Hilary Duff (last seen in this blog involved with another guy).

In true tabloid form, the magazine's photographer snuck into position so he could peer inside the room to get pictures of the event. Here's one of the pictures they took:Can anybody think of what this picture could possibly be other than that woman-stealing Comrie getting a "thanks for the jewelry" blowjob?


Skin Deep



More violence from the innocent Somali Community?

Valentine's day partying got out of hand on Sunday night when a shooting took place at Red Light Lounge Twilight Ultra Lounge:

Around 8 a.m., officers pulled up in front of the Twilight after hours club located at 105 St. and 100 Ave. A victim was found by police suffering from gunshot wounds. Paramedics were then called to rush the person to hospital with serious injuries that are not believed to be life-threatening.

Around that same time, police discovered a deceased man, believed to be in his 20s, inside a vehicle parked about a block away from the scene. Investigators have not determined a connection between the two shootings but say at least one of the men was inside the club just before violence erupted. Patrons inside Twilight say they weren't aware of the incident until after staff shut the music off. The bar was set to remain open until noon, but was closed shortly after police arrived.

A witness says he heard gunshots while he was in his hotel room at the Comfort Inn across 100th Ave.

"We heard the five or six shots go off...I love photography so I thought I'd go down and see what I could get and sure enough there was somebody laying on the sidewalk and police everywhere," Kevin Cafferky tells CTV.

The area is no stranger to gunfire. Back in Sept. of 2009, a shooting occurred at the Twilight after hours club. Witnesses reported that someone came into the club and fired about several shots inside the club before going outside and firing a few more shots.

Prior to that, in November 2007, Thanh Van Phan was stabbed to death at Twilight and three people were murdered at the club in Oct. 2006 when it was called the Red Light Lounge.

Those who work nearby feel it's time for the Twilight after hours club to close.
So far there's no word on which black Somalis from Ontario as-yet-unidentified shooters are responsible for this, nor the identity of the black Somali from Ontario found dead in the car.

Let's make one thing perfectly clear: there are two main reasons to rename a nightclub in Edmonton:
  1. Changing the name of the front owner for the asian/motorcycle gangs who run the bar in order to reduce insurance costs after high profile violence.
  2. Trying to make the club look new and hot and sexy in order to win back the customers lost when their old competition changed its name for either reason (1) or (2) herein and became the new hot and sexy club.
It shouldn't take too long to guess which reason is responsible for Twilight's recent name change.

As for who is responsible, let's note that along with "red light lounge edmonton", the name "brandon prevey" has been leading a lot of people to this blog in the last 24 hours...


Rating the English Muffins

Tim Hortons has recently unveiled their breakfast sandwiches on English Muffins. The best part about this has been that all breakfast sandwiches are only $2.09 including tax. However when I had an actual english muffin based sandwich, I found the results were...well, lets not give it away.

One radio ad makes a thinly veiled reference to a guy who got his breakfast at McDonalds and his coffee at Tim's (actually, I prefer McDonalds' coffee), so I thought it would be best to put the Tim Hortons breakfast on an English Muffin head to head against the legendary McMuffin and see what happens:

McDonalds -- The Egg McMuffin: 5/10
The traditional egg and muffin sandwich, no meat involved.

Tim Hortons -- Sausage Breakfast Sandwich on an english muffin: 1/10
A sausage round, egg and a muffin.

Barb & Ernies
-- Bratwurst Benedict: 23/10
A big piece of veal bratwurst and lightly poached eggs on a muffin with Hollandaise sauce.


Edmonton City Council: they really can't get anything right

Take a look at how the City of Edmonton is contemplating bringing in a new transit system:

The City of Edmonton appears ready to jump into new technology for its transit system.

It deals with how you pay to ride the bus or LRT.

City council will be asked later this year to approve spending big bucks on a smart card system.

It's a lot of money up front -- more than $22 million -- to pay for the technology. But, a report going to council's transportation and public works committee next week justifies the investment.

Long-term costs will be down and revenue up, generating nearly $7 million a year or more. But, it will take almost a decade or more for the pay off.

Costs will be down administratively. For instance, they will not have to print tickets, and fare evasion will, in theory, be reduced as well.

On top of that, revenue should be up because the smart card system can change fares in off-peak hours. It can also create a rider loyalty program, which should increase the number of passengers taking the bus or train.

Wait wait, hold on here. The system costs $22 million to implement. It will generate $7 million a year. So how can it take [almost] ten years to pay off? 22/7 is not 10 [depending where you go it is, in fact, pi. -ed]

Meanwhile the city says that the smart card system can make fares higher during peak hours (to discourage ridership) and also have a loyalty program (to increase ridership). Is there a particular reason Edmonton City Council feels the need to do both simultaneously?

Bonus content: This isn't the first rip on Edmonton City Council I've delivered today: I've delivered the following on Twitter: Big surprise, #yegcc learns they were lied to...

Also from #yeg idiocy file, #yegcc shocked to learn


Do You Know Your Enemy?

Now that my computer is back up and running, I can finally post-produce and show the video project that I started last summer, long before the Tea Party protests made it to full swing and the comparisons became even more apt:


Say it with me now...

The poison filling the theatre is revealed in real-world records. Arctic ice sheets are collapsing and their collapse accelerating. Rivers on the Prairies, in Asia and Latin America, have dwindled along with mountain glaciers. The most violent rainstorms, persistent droughts and powerful storms are all increasing. Plants and animals are migrating away from the equator and up to higher elevations. Diseases are appearing in new places. Established seasons are becoming irregular. Extreme weather has blighted food harvests from salmon to wheat.

"One more time...weather isn't climate."

So none of those examples mean anything.

Shaken and Stirred, Java style

Finally, after much searching, I've found a guide to the amazing boat chase that starts off The World is Not Enough, the best of the modern Bond era:

Continue east along the dockside and then turn right following the signs to South Quay DLR station. When you get to the station, cross over the road to reach Millwall Inner Dock. This is the scene of much of the amazing boat chase in the opening sequence of the James Bond film The World is Not Enough (1999). James Bond (Pierce Brosnan), in his jet-boat, is chasing the Cigar Girl, an assassin played by Maria Grazia Cucinotta, in her Sunseeker powerboat.

Walking about 200m along the eastern dock-side you reach the old London Arena site, and a floating Chinese restaurant. The dock was the scene for the stunt where Bond jumps over a stationary boat, corkscrews through the air and knocks the machine gun off the back of the Cigar Girl’s boat.

A little further along, you will reach the Glengall lifting bridge. This bridge was used for another clever stunt – the Cigar Girl notices that the bridge is closing and speeds underneath, so as Bond reaches it he is too late to get under. He spots a lever marked “dive” in his boat and pulls it, the boat disappears under the bridge and pops back to the surface on the other side. In typical Bond fashion he takes time to straighten his tie while underwater.

For continuity geeks, the route of the boat chase is an odd one – it starts at Vauxhall Cross, the HQ of the real MI5, and within a minute reaches Tower Bridge (in reality this would take at least 5 minutes even for a jet boat). Then they turn south into Java Wharf, which is a dead end off the Thames in Southwark just east of Tower Bridge.

Luckily, by the magic of film, this gets them here to Millwall Inner dock on the Isle of Dogs – in reality another dead end. There is then a gas bottle explosion which is actually in the Blackwall Basin just east of Canary Wharf.

His route blocked by the explosion, Bond appears to be back on the River Thames west of Canary Wharf pier – his on-board computer is offering him two alternative routes using either the North or South Docks to speed through the Isle of Dogs. In fact, Bond's route takes him through Wapping (a mile west), Billingsgate Market and through
the Royals. He pops up onto land and drives through the market using his boat’s jet engines for power. Then he appears to pop out of a restaurant window at Trinity Buoy Wharf and back into the Thames in time to catch the Cigar Girl and force her boat
aground at the Dome.

And now, of course, the chase itself:

And just for fun, the ski chase too:


Post #1600, baby!

Wow, can you believe it? Third Edge of the Sword is now one-thousand-and-six-hundred posts long. This overuse-of-hyphen style of blogposting has now been going on for 1,600 entries. How does this compare with some other milestones?

  • Width of a human hair: 75 μm
  • Number of towns in Luxembourg with a population over 1,000: 79
  • Number of countries in the United Nations: 192
  • Noah's age when he built the ark: 480
  • Number of blogposts at Third Edge of the Sword: 1,600
  • Number of Tim Hortons in Canada: 2,971
  • Longest term for a U.S. President: 4,441 days
  • Age of the universe: 14,000,000,000 years.
  • Projected size of President Monkey's 2010 deficit: $1,170,000,000,000 (US dollars)
Not bad, not bad...