The problem is getting them to pay for both things...

What do black people like?

Fried chicken and basketball!

Can we somehow cross-promote them? Yes!


Ministry of Silly Walks Songs About Being a Slut With a Fat Ass

Don't believe me? Watch the video.


Rachel Browne makes you hate anatomy

This is why VICE removed comments. So they didn't have to be called out on nonsense stories like this one.

We trace how a narrative morphed and was exploited to suit right-wing interests at a time when there are heightened fears around Islamophobia and the credibility of journalism is at stake.
Did far-left extremist Rachel Browne write about the "anatomy of a false narrative" when her media outlet writes Fake News about Red Indians? How about when they tell patently untrue things about Donald Trump as he stomped Clinton endlessly in the televised debates?

Of course not. But they can endlessly tell you about the fog of war effect when Quebec City happened (not Muslims, early report said it was). When the fog of war exposes violent derka derka immigrants, it's a different story...
  • Beltway sniper: Muslims, endless reports said it wasn't
  • Orlando shooting: Muslim, endless reports said it wasn't
  • San Bernardino shooters: Muslims, early reports said it wasn't
  • Fort Hood Attack #1: Muslim terrorism, President Monkey claimed it was workplace violence
  • Fort Hood Attack #2: Hispanic, endless reports claiming he was a "white hispanic"
  • Parliament Hill shootings: Muslims, early reports said it wasn't
  • Times Square Bomber: Muslim, NYC mayor said he was a militia member upset about Obamacare
  • NYC Pressure Cooker attacks: Muslim, early reports said he wasn't
  • Paris Attack #1: Muslims, early reports said it wasn't
  • Paris Attack #2: Muslims, early reports said it wasn't
  • Berlin Attack #1: Muslims, early reports said it wasn't
  • Berlin Attack #2: Muslims, early reports said it wasn't
  • Berlin Attack #3: Muslims, early reports said it wasn't
  • Nice lorry attack: Muslims, early reports said it was a road rage incident
  • Boston Marathon bombing: Muslims, early reports said it wasn't
  • 9/11: Muslims, retarded liberals still think Donald Rumsfeld was responsible
Early reports are always sketchy. Usually it involves stories about multiple shooters, which is fairly rare. Most of it is pretty sensible: it's probably better as a public policy issue to assume he's one prong of a multi-prong attack than figure once you get one guy the crisis is over and everybody can let their guard back down. Seeing as how the entire Muslim religion is just an excuse to engage in gang warfare, it wasn't too much of a stretch that a Sunni man might join in with a pur de laine to take down a Shi'ite mosque.

When the far-left media morons at VICE start going into the backstory behind these false narratives that push their agenda, then you should read this article. Until then, don't bother.


An Open Letter to Adobe Acrobat

Quebec City and the Bush Doctrine

I think we can all agree that Alexandre Bissonnette went at least a half-step too far.

But ironically enough, despite endless media portrayals about him being a "Trump fan", his "get them over there before they get us over here" philosophy is straight out of George W. Bush (pbuh)'s playbook.

In fact, the idea that we need to kill terrorists and terrorist sympathizers before they bomb our malls and storm our churches, which so clearly motivated Mr. Bissonnette has in fact been routinely stomped on by Donald Trump. He doesn't want to blow up their training camps. He just wants to keep them on the far side of the United States border.

The real estate mogul insisted the U.S. should have a lighter footprint around the world and slammed the Bush doctrines belief in nation building. Trump said he would prefer to spend our valuable resources domestically.
“I do think it’s a different world today, and I don’t think we should be nation-building anymore,” Trump said to the Post. “I think it’s proven not to work, and we have a different country than we did then. We have $19 trillion in debt. We’re sitting, probably, on a bubble. And it’s a bubble that if it breaks, it’s going to be very nasty. I just think we have to rebuild our country.”
Trump also questioned the need for the U.S. to continue its current role in NATO, insisting that American taxpayers are footing the bill for Europe.
“We certainly can’t afford to do this anymore,” the billionaire said. He also added later, “NATO is costing us a fortune, and yes, we’re protecting Europe with NATO, but we’re spending a lot of money.”
Republican President George W. Bush led America into a war to topple Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein, but the GOP’s presumptive nominee continues to buck his party by refusing to support that decision. Speaking in North Carolina on Tuesday, Donald Trump exposed the folly of an Iraq war that turned Iraq into a breeding ground for radical Islam.
“Saddam Hussein was a bad guy, right? He was a bad guy. Really bad guy,” Trump told the crowd. “But you know what he did well? He killed terrorists. He did that so good. They didn’t read them the rights. They didn’t talk. They were a terrorists. It was over. Today, Iraq is Harvard for terrorism.”
So while the debate rages about whether Alexandre Bissonnette really was a Trump fan or not, one thing is very very clear: his decision to make a preemptive strike against Muslim extremists operating in Quebec wouldn't make President Trump a fan of him.


Star Trek puts the Klingon Negh'Var class ship in every TV finale

The Negh'Var class long-range torpedo ship (okay, it's not, but I've played enough Birth of the Federation that it's what I think of it as) is the largest Klingon ship (to date) ever shown on film. And by film, of course, I mean TV. It has never appeared in any of the films.

But what it does have is the interesting distinction, not well-published, of appearing in every Star Trek series finale.

The ship model was created for the final TNG episode "All Good Things..." where it famously curdled the USS Pasteur as the two Captain Picards searched the Devron system for an anti-time eruption that they actually caused even though it's supposedly all three Enterprises that generated it.

They got their commuppance however: it turns out the Klingons are no match for a super-powerful USS Enterprise with a giant laser cannon of death.

That much money spent on models can't just be wasted, however, and when the Klingons made waves on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine it was time to dust off the old prop and throw it on screen as the new Klingon flagship, the I.K.S. Negh'Var. Once the Dominion War was in full swing, the Klingons had a raft of them (the mirror universe Klingon-Bajoran-Cardassian Alliance had a giant one that it's best that we stop talking about because the later mirror universe episodes stunk to high heaven), and therefore when the Alpha Quadrant's forces leave Deep Space Nine for the final confrontation on Cardassia Prime in the clunkily named "That Which You Leave Behind", of course you'll see the Negh'Var four times at once. A barrel of bloodwine to the first man who steps over the rotting corpses of dead Cardassians!

A couple years later is was time for Star Trek: Voyager's final episode, the infamously bad "Endgame". In an alternate-universe "All Good Things" a super-powered Enterprise took care of two Negh'Var in the year 2395. "Endgame" takes place in an alternate-universe nine years later in 2404, and now somehow two massive Negh'Var warships are no match for an old woman, a shuttlecraft, and a ship inexplicably captain'd by Harry Kim.

There is no honour in being outmaneuvered by a woman driver

It has nothing to do with the Negh'Var mind you, but did you notice (as I didn't during my review) that at the end of Endgame there is an Excelsior, Galaxy, and Defiant class ship reflecting the previous TV series (or the movies, in the Excelsior case). It's a nice little nod-back, even though obviously the Enterprise-D has long since been replaced by the Enterprise-E, and it would at best be the re-renamed USS Defiant since the original was destroyed by the Breen, and Sisko is currently floating in some wormhole-alien aether right now. Still, nice touch.

So three series finales, three appearances of the same awesome Klingon warship. "But wait!" I can hear you exclaim, "what about the other series finales"? Well, you may not know it, but the Negh'Var makes an appearance in those as well.

Everybody remembers that Riker and the Enterprise-D appears in "These Are the Voyages..." (First TV Drama called the episode "Trip dies in Riker's holodeck"), but did you notice the Klingon warship they snuck into one of Connor Trinneer's big acting scenes?

But this is nothing new. Hell, they've been putting the I.K.S. Negh'Var in TV finale episodes since 1969.


President Trump's first week of office

President Monkey is no more.

As President-Elect Donald Trump becomes President Donald Trump, it's time to take a look at his first week of office.

Not unexpectedly, Sean Hannity on his radio show was very excited about that first week. It was "refreshing", he said, that Trump was getting stuff done. The problem with President Monkey though wasn't that he didn't get things done, it's just that every thing he did was evil and horrible. Meanwhile, Scott Adams says that Trump the Master Persuader (there are lots of pros and cons about Trump in office, but hearing another 8 years of persuasion and hypnosis talk from the Dilbert creator has to rank up there in the list of cons) is winning his first week because he's doing so many things to outrage the far-left media that it exhausts the mental prowess of the average human being and leaves them unable to express any concrete emotions about what Trump has done.

Meanwhile, I think there's one U.S. pundit who did a decent job explaining why Trump did what he did: Ned Ryun told Brietbart News that it was good that Trump was going full speed on his legislative agenda because the left will hate him no matter what he does, so he might as well be aggressive.

This is a good point, and it's a shame that U.S. pundits don't pay enough attention to Canadian politics because had they done so, they'd know there were already strong precedents about this: specifically, the Rt. Honourable Stephen Harper (pbuh).

As I have mentioned before, the biggest problem with Harper was that he moved too slowly. His plan was to not spook easily spooked Ontario voters and CBC followers, and maintain a slow and easy centre-left agenda. His most radical move was abolishing the Canadian Wheat Board, which was hugely popular with most western farmers and really only negatively impacted a small number of leftist fake farmers. Everything else was pretty low key really. And what was the result of this decade-long experiment with slow sensible moves that were never more than centrist or centre-right?

The left treated him like Hitler and wanted to murder him.

Sound familiar? Yes it's interesting that Trump started his first day in office at the same level of lefist outrage that Harper accumulated by the end of his reign. But the end result is that there's nowhere really left to go. They're going to hate him anyways, so he might as well go full bore from Day 1. That's the lesson that Harper should have learned: the media and the left will never treat conservatives fairly, they will never like what you do, so you might as well go full power. That's what Rachel Arab in doing in Alberta. And it's what President Donald J. Trump is doing in America.

And to do one final balance with the Canadian political scene under Harper, I do have to say one major issue I have with both Trump and Harper's agendas (agendum?) is that while they are doing the right thing, they aren't necessarily doing it the right way.

Note: I'm not the only one to notice this. Small Dead Animals commenter "first timer" posted the following:
Agree that the right needs to be united, and it cannot be under the PC banner. This is what happened in Sask. If true conservatives end up in leadership (and that means mainly Wildrose people) it could be a viable alternative. (Heck, the residents of the local SPCA would be a viable alternative to Notley.) The difference between the last attempt at amalgamation under Smith is that at that time, the PC's would have been absorbing the Wildrose. It would be the other way now. But they need a new name, and they need a clearly conservative platform, and to purge any who espouse "reaching out" to the left end of the spectrum. Brexit and Trump showed us that true, honest conservative platforms can win. No need to worry what the prog media calls you - just be what so many of the people have been longing for, and what the economy needs.
But we cannot take another 4 years. Word on the street here is that citizens will vote for ANYTHING that smacks of honesty, to get rid of Notley & co. So all they have to do is get their crap together and quite trying to appeal to some imagined middle ground.
Unfortunately, that elusive "middle of the road" platform is only defined by media pundits. As the left moves further and further into utter whack job territory, the middle point between them and common sense (socially and economically) shifts to the left, too. Witness the federal Liberal party, who attempt to brand themselves as middle ground. They are further to the left than the NDP was 20 years ago.
Forget them all! Forget trying to look good to the socialist media. Be what you need to be - honest about true conservative, realistic policies. Let the snowflake heads explode - they will hate you anyway. Remember Farage and Trump!

Years ago, I criticized Harper for his use of omnibus bills to achieve his legislative goals. There wasn't a single part in the omnibus bills I disagreed with, however I thought it wasn't proper to use them. Instead, each item on his agenda should have been individually brought forward in Parliament to be voted into (perfectly reasonable) law.

The same issue arises with Trump: his use of executive orders to achieve his goals is disappointing, even if you agree with every single one of the orders (which, with the exception of the money to build the wall, I do). If Keystone XL is being held up by excessive government red tape (as even President Monkey agreed that it was) then the solution is not to use executive powers of the Oval Office to "cut through them". The solution is to enact legislation through the House and/or Senate (and then approved by the President) to permanently remove the red tape, or the agency responsible for creating it. Abolishing excessive federal oversight of private economic matters is more legitimate and more effective if done properly. Executive orders may save Keystone but it doesn't help the next project coming down the pipeline, nor the next, nor the next.

Trump has a rare gift: the White House, the House of Representatives, and the Senate are all in Republican hands. He doesn't need to take any action through administrative short cuts. In a way, it's the downside of having a corporate CEO type in power (especially one as hands-on as Trump is famous for being): when the boss wants something done, he's used to just ordering it to be done. It can work in a corporate scenario because the boss has some legitimacy as the boss. However, in a democratic country the notion of the President as "the boss" is an unhealthy one. Democratic government is supposed to be of the people. The People themselves have hired a whole raft of people to represent them in this capacity, and there are clear ways in which all branches of government can be used to push an agenda forward. Trump's agenda is aggressive, it's necessary, and it's sensible. There's no reason not to do the right thing in the right way.

The left will still hate him. But his agenda can still go forward, and send a powerful message that the President isn't supposed to have all this power. The office does have this power, but unfortunately Trump is going with his business instincts and using it. A Peter David Star Trek novel once said "the correct answer when asked where to draw the line is to refuse to pick up the pen in the first place". It's good advice. Now that Trump is President, it's shame he isn't following it.

Why faggots like Ellen and @mikesbloggity are the cause of mental illness

Last Wednesday was #BellLetsTalk day, where every use of the hashtag resulted in a donation from Bell Media to mental health causes across the country. $6.5M was raised for the 2017 campaign partially thanks to help from a celebrity with a mental illness herself: Ellen Degenerate, who has the mental illness where she is attracted to the wrong sex, brought up the campaign on her talk show.

Also with #BellLetsTalk comes a variety of tweets from people who have had friends and family lost to suicide. As so often happens, you'd be surprised (and by that, of course, I mean not surprised) that so many of them are queers.

Disclaimer: Mike Morrison molests 15 year old boys and tries to groom them into his disgusting sexual perversions.

The thing to remember about fags committing suicide is that the desire to sodomize other men is itself a major mental illness. If pillow biting predators like @MikesBloggity stopped endorsing this sick lifestyle choice, more poofters might chose to abandon their immoral urges and discover - shock of all shocks -- that it leaves them more mentally stable.


Happy New Year from Third Edge of the Sword

As 2016 draws to a close and I'm preparing for an insufferable NYE house party that wouldn't be my first choice for the evening, I thought I'd give a little apology to longtime readers over the recent lack of postings. Work, health, and interpersonal changes over the past few weeks haven't given me much time to blog, and while that may improve somewhat over the first few months of 2017 there are yet no guarantees.

2016 has indeed been a rough year, and for every bit of good news there seems to have been a piece of bad news, and for some reason the bad news always seemed to overpower the good news.

On the bright side, as I was saying at last night's insufferable pre-NYE house party, I haven't been phased by any deaths in 2016 celebrity or otherwise. Unlike some people who seem to be not coping well.

Please don't immortalize me in song

Which song is worse?

The country song titled "Johnny Cash"?

The country song titled "Tim McGraw"?

Or the alt-rock song titled "Eddie Vedder"?

Also do we give bonus points to the Johnny Cash song for being about Johnny friggin' Cash?

As an extra question, do we also include this mediocre song titled "Steve McQueen" by Sheryl Crow?


Trump was right

Germany has been hit by waves of crime committed by migrants.

During the first six months of 2016, migrants committed 142,500 crimes, according to the Federal Criminal Police Office.

And Germany has been hit by a spate of horrendous violent crime including rapes, sexual and physical assaults, stabbings, home invasions, robberies, burglaries and drug trafficking.

Adding to the country's woes is the fact that thousands of people have gone missing after travelling there on invitation from Anegla Merkel.

Germany took in more than 1.1million migrants in the past year and parts of the country are crippled with a lack of infrastructure.
Horrible stuff, eh? Just the sort of thing that Trump and his supporters have warned about bringing into America
According to a report by the international policy council the Gatestone Institute, local police in many parts of the country admit that they are stretched to the limit.

The report states: "The rape of a ten-year-old girl in Leipzig, the largest city in Saxony, has drawn renewed attention to the spiralling levels of violent crime perpetrated by migrants in cities and towns across Germany.
"During the first six months of 2016, migrants committed 142,500 crimes, according to the Federal Criminal Police Office. This is equivalent to 780 crimes committed by migrants every day, an increase of nearly 40 per cent over 2015. The data includes only those crimes in which a suspect has been caught.

"Thousands of migrants who entered the country as 'asylum seekers' or 'refugees' have gone missing. They are, presumably, economic migrants who entered Germany on false pretences.

"Many are thought to be engaging in robbery and criminal violence."

According to Freddi Lohse of the German Police Union in Hamburg, many migrant offenders view the leniency of the German justice system as a green light to continue delinquent behaviour, says the report.
Much like the case in "sanctuary cities" like San Fransisco and Los Angeles (currently in the grip of violent anti-Trump protests), allowing lawlessness under a guise of "compassion" bites you in the ass: the people invading your country are not "compassionate" people. Nor, clearly, are the ones demanding such legislated compassion in the first place. An article like this drives home a lot about what Trump has been saying.

Good thing he won.

Bonus Gatestone Institute content: here they are denouncing the Canadian Parliament for "renouncing "Islamophobia".

Bonus Express coverage about Trump: END OF MERKEL? Germany fears 'Trump effect' could spread across Europe

Pro-tip for the 2020 Presidential Race

Mitt Romney, October 16 2012: "Binders full of women"

Hillary Clinton, September 9 2016: "Basket of deplorables"

Here's (as the title says) a handy pro-tip for anybody planning to run for United States President in 2020, 2024, 2028, etc...

Never construct a phrase of the form
"(small container) of (group of people)"


What's the opposite of the Boston Tea Party?

Over in England, the Old Nun's Head Pub in Nunhead, South London has a special post-US election sign up, for wandering American leftists freaking out over Trump's win. There is a free beer and a hug. Aww, isn't that sweet.

But notice something weird about their stipulation at the bottom? "Proof of nationality required". As in, this is something intended solely for U.S. citizens, and not just people who wander over from any other country in the world. Just like, I dunno, to pick something off the top of my head, providing free healthcare to Mexican immigrants at taxpayer expense...
Providing healthcare to illegal immigrants costs us some $11 billion annually. If we were to simply enforce the current immigration laws and restrict the unbridled granting of visas to this country, we could relieve healthcare cost pressures on state and local governments.
In fact, "proof of nationality required" sounds almost like a good slogan for the next four years of a Trump presidency. We have real hope for you. #HopeNotHopsNotHate. Over the next four years I will make your life better. (Note: proof of nationality required)

If it's good enough for a "sprawling gastropub" it should be good enough for U.S. taxpayers.

"Exit polls are to election watchers what engine coolant is to a thirsty dog."

It was for the sake of this day that he had first decided to run for the Presidency, a decision which had sent waves of astonishment throughout the Imperial Galaxy—Zaphod Beeblebrox? President? Not the Zaphod Beeblebrox? Not the President? Many had seen it as a clinching proof that the whole of known creation had finally gone bananas.

It's wakeup time in America. Donald Trump has been elected President.

As a social conservative, I've got little in practice to be happy about a Trump Presidency. He's generally in favour of trannies being treated like their delusions are the truth, not interested in defending free speech, awfully cold on the universal right to firearms, in favour of socialist healthcare funded by confiscatory taxation, and against free trade. In fact, the only good news about a Trump Presidency is that it makes all the right people so dreadfully upset. Here's far-left columnist Paula Simons upset over Trump's victory coinciding with two women -- one decent and one fundamentally evil -- withdrawing from the PC Alberta Leadership race. Brain-dead left-wing celebs like Alec Baldwin and Sarah Silverman were near tears, and social justice warriors are angrily marching in the street. As seems so much to be the case in 20th century politics, I'm more geared to making my political opponents more unhappy than me than I am more happy than them. Call it the "Russian at the end of the world" political philosophy, if you like.

Probably the best line about the night comes from Small Dead Animals commentator "Deplorable Terry Tory of Canada" who writes:
Watch a revolution. Live. On TV. Unfiltered. Watch MSM heads explode. This is going to be EPIC.

I have prayed for a day like this for at least 12 years.

God's sword: The internet.

God's crusaders: Matt Drudge, Andrew Breibart (RIP), O'Keefe, Assange, Alex Jones and many others...And of course up here our own Kate and others like Ezra the Rebel.

God works in mysterious ways: Cue in Donald J. Trump.

May God carry us through this historical moment,the destiny of the entire World.

Pray my freedom fighting friends.
Well pray they did, it appears! [the post title also comes from the SDA comments, this one from Gord Tulk. -ed]

The President is always a controversial choice, always an infuriating but fascinating character. His job is not to wield power but to draw attention away from it.

AS Mark Steyn puts it...
Trump also proved you can shatter the glass ceiling and lead the biggest Republican Party victory (White House and Congress) since 1928 by saying every 20 minutes "outrageous" things that outrage no normal person and that, even if you're ever so mildly peeved by them, are never going to take priority over the economy or health care or foreign policy when it comes to determining your vote.
Steyn also brings up the "dissing of McCain" which I also thought was going to sink Trump (but didn't!).

Over the next four years be prepared for President Trump to fail to achieve things he promised, fight constantly with the violent SJW mobs, the media, and even his (well, theoretically his) own House and Senate. I'm not even sure he will find out he wants the job that badly, and we may find Trump added to the short (and very old) list of U.S. Presidents who didn't persue a second term. This wouldn't be the worst thing for Trump, or America, and particularly the GOP.

But that's the future. For the present, enjoy the crying left. Don't be afraid to rub it in their noses. They didn't let up in 2008, 2012, or 2015, did they?


Who will replace President Monkey?

Today is the big day. President Monkey will be replaced...but by whom?

Starting at 5am Eastern Standard Time (10am Greenwich Mean Time) in Vermont, and ending at 8pm in Hawaii-Aleutian Standard Time (6am Greenwich Mean Time the following day), Americans in all 50 states are eligible to cast their ballots for several offices, including the United States President.

Of course, President Monkey willfully allows non-citizens to vote, which is one of the reasons Donald Trump is even a candidate today. He, at least briefly, insisted that American citizens should have authority on who sets foot on American soil and votes in American elections. For that, he garnered support from a lot of conservatives.

But he's not really that conservative, is he? After all, #NeverTrump was a rallying cry of the conservative establishment.

But then can you say his chief rival for high office is particularly left-wing either? Mark Steyn noted that there's all sorts of principled far-left opposition to the Hillbeast that doesn't make the press for some unfathomable reason From TPP to the blatent 1%-erism of the Clinton Foundation to even her late arrival to support disgusting sexual practices, Clinton isn't what progressives were expecting when they wanted a President Monkey followup.

Yes, yes, I know the actual reason.

Fortunately, even though US politics is dominated by a two-party system, there are alternative parties available for voters. Jill Stein is a Green party leader straight out of the crazy Elizabeth May mold, from the association with holocaust deniers to thinking Wi-Fi is dangerous. You might be wondering what's particularly "green" about either policy: Wi-Fi proliferation has enabled the digital economy which presumably will contribute to keeping people from moving around and burning carbon, while you don't even want to think about air pollution caused by burning Jews in ovens. But on the big environmental issues she's quick to denounce the environment when attacking corporations sounds like a bigger vote getter. Genetically modified foods are an environmental boon, allowing higher crop yields on less soil and requiring less chemical inputs...but "evil rich corporations" like Monsanto are making "profit" off of them...and therefore that must be evil. And so Jill Stein, "environmentalist", is entirely against them.

Finally, we have libertarian Gary Johnson. Gary Johnson on guns:

I don't believe there should be any restrictions when it comes to firearms. None.
Gary Johnson on education:
All I suggest is to make K-12 like higher education. Higher education in the United States is the best in the world because these institutions compete with each other for your tuition dollar. Let's just bring competition to public education.
Gary Johnson on healthcare:
I reject the insurance model. I think we should have a free-market approach to healthcare.
Gary Johnson on the ballooning US federal debt:
Balance the federal budget now, not 15 years from now, not 20 years from now, but now. And throw out the entire federal tax system, replace it with a fair tax, a consumption tax, that by all measurements is just that. It's fair.
Gary Johnson on religious liberty...governments should force Christian bakers to promote sodomy, and Jewish bakers to promote their own extermination.

So that's the choice, America. At least half the candidates are even worse than President Monkey. Go tell me 8 years ago I'd be typing that sentence!