In heaven Pyongyang, all the interesting people are missing.

Who's this clueless? I mean seriously.

Reverend Hyeon Soo Lim, 60, left Toronto in January on a humanitarian trip.

His church says he traveled to South Korea and China before crossing over into North Korea on Jan. 30.

When he didn’t return as scheduled the next week, they believed he was being held up by an ebola quarantine
If you have a friend or loved one who goes to North Korea, here's a handy Top Ten list of the reasons they may have disappeared and not come back:
  1. Imprisoned by North Korea
  2. Imprisoned by North Korea
  3. Imprisoned by North Korea
  4. Imprisoned by North Korea
  5. Imprisoned by North Korea
  6. Imprisoned by North Korea
  7. Imprisoned by North Korea
  8. Captured by space aliens
  9. Imprisoned by North Korea
  10. Held up by an ebola quarantine

Who Killed the Electric Car? Everybody, including you.

Electric car manufacturers -- don't act surprised -- are pissed off that you aren't paying more for gas.

These worthless pricks who President Monkey has been lavishing with taxpayer dollars still aren't actually producing a product of value (or resale value!) and therefore are left salivating that American taxpayers can stop paying people who make things long enough to throw some money on their useless vehicles.

Nissan has even resorted to blaming their electric car sales on the recent eastern weather issues, which drives the point home more than anything: these cars are actually useless in the real world where people might wish to drive places. They're less useful than a $15,000 hatchback, three times the cost, and of no use to anyone.


Meet a Muslim Family

"Meet a Muslim Family" offers BC's Ahmadiyya mosque Baitur Rahman to avoid cultural misunderstandings.

Iman Balal Khokhor said they don't want their religion to be misunderstood in light of recent violent attacks by extremists in the name of Islam.

"Canadians have a fear of Muslims. They don't know them. They don't know their culture, their religion, and we want to showcase that in fact we are Canadian and just like any other Canadians," said Khokhor.
Let's play along, then. Third Edge of the Sword presents, meet a Muslim family:
  • Meet Mohammad Shafia and his wives Rona and Tooba. Meet their daughters Zainab, Sahar, Getti, and their son Hamed. Some of them are more talkative than others. Only the names in blue are still alive: they had the ones in black honour killed in 2009
  • Meet Pakistani Muslim Abdul Malik Rustam. You can also meet his unnamed child by visiting Abdul's mother-in-law. You just missed Mrs. Rustam though: Shaher Bano Shahdady was murdered. If you can settle for a little cross-dressing though, Rustam is capable of playing both halves of his arranged marriage.
  • Meet Michael Zehaf-Bibeau, born to Canadian bureaucrat Susan Bibeau and Libyan immigrant Bulgasem Zehaf. Zehaf fought for Mustafa Jalil's Libyan National Liberation Army. His son, Mr. Zehaf-Bibeau, is a new Muslim since 2004. Unfortunately, you'll have to meet Zehaf-Bibeau after a bit of a plane ride: he's been buried in Libya following his terrorist attack on the symbols of the people of Canada.
  • Neither he nor his family are very accessable, but you may wish to meet Badi Hammadieh, a Syrian who runs a vacuum cleaner repair shop in Calgary. You're not alone if you want to meet him, he's in high demand: mostly from the parents of the kids who are now dead since he recruited them to fight for Mohammed (death be upon him) against God and the forces of decency.
  • Meet Muhammad Parvez and his son Waqas, who would be glad to talk to you about any topic under the sun...except, of course, Aqsa Parvez, their deceased daughter for whom the family won't even put up a gravestone.
  • Meet Imran Qureshi, organizer of feel-good Islamic film student awards and husband to Maria Qureshi. While you're here, meet Tariq Chaudary and his wife and three daughters. Both Tariq and Imran also operate Inter-Masajid Shura and Islamic Relief Canada, an organization that is also recruiting jihadis to go oversees and fight for the false child-raping prophet of Satan
  • Meet Mohammed Rached Esseghaier, a Tunisian living in Montreal with his son Chiheb. Chiheb is studying at Institute National de la Recherche Scientifique (a faculty of Université du Québec), while his loving mother Raoudha remains in Tunesia where she has no doubt that her "genius" son "is a very good boy". Mohammed Esseghaier is quite the scholar, knowing the difference between the koran and the Criminal Code of Canada.
  • Meet Chiheb Esseghaier's friend Raed Jaser, who came to Canada from the United Arab Emirates with his parents on forged documents (they claimed to be Palestinian) claiming refugee status in 1993. His parents became Canadian citizens, and Mohammed Jaser is involved with the Muslim support group P4E. As per Raed's best friend growing up, Raed was a good boy who never wanted to hurt innocent people. The official who pardon's him for fraud and death threats in 2004 obviously agreed.
  • Meet Swara Peshdary, an Ottawa man who along with his wife and two children came to Canada from Kuwait. The family is close-knit, anxious to visit their son Awso Peshdary when he was investigated as part of Project Samossa. The couple also has a grandchild and a daughter-in-law, who loves spending time with them since it means her husband is less likely to beat her.
I could go on, but I think now you'll fully appreciate how many amazing Muslim families there are right here in your very own country. I certainly agree it would be eye-opening to meet some of them, though you should be careful as it may open several other body parts you may prefer to remain closed.

Quirks and Quacks

A long reign of cold weather on the eastern seaboard this winter has put a dampening on the global warming talk from the chattering classes.

To the rescue comes warmmonger Bob McDonald, host of CBC's "Quirks and Quarks", here to remind you that global warming is totally coming, even though this winter has laid bare the point that the warming doesn't seem particularly global.

A snowball was thrown in the U.S. Senate this week by Senator James Inhofe (R-Okla.), a vocal climate change denier, in an attempt to show that the unseasonably cold weather outside is proof that humans are not making the planet warmer. What he was really showing is his ignorance about the difference between weather and climate.

The phrase “Climate is what you expect; weather is what you get,” invoked by climate scientists, means that the weather we see happening outside our windows is a short-term effect, while climate is a global average measured over a longer period of time. So to judge the planet by what’s happening in your own backyard is narrow thinking.
I want you all to remember what McDonald says here in this passage, particularly the part I bolded at the end.

Because the next time there's unseasonably warm weather, climate-change promoting bozos like Bob McDonald will be quick to assure you that it's proof that global warming is actually happening.

So bookmark this page. Favourite my tweet that sent you here. Because the next time Bob McDonald or any other warmmongering scammers try to use a heat wave in Toronto to prove global warming, I want you to send them here.

They literally are telling you one lie when it's raining, and another lie when it's sunny.


How do you spell success?

In Calgary, apparently, the answer is S-H-E-D-D-I-N-G.

Negative impact of plutonium poisoning

Apparently a Manhattan Project researcher named Theodore Magel was given a huge accidental plutonium present in 1944 and it impacted him until his death in 2008.

Unfortunately, if you read the article you'll find secondhand plutonium poisoning is also a serious problem, and the main impact seems to be endless typos.

Sink the Musashi!

The Microsoft billionaire not named Bill (Paul Allen) has discovered the sunken Japanese super-battleship Musashi in the Sibuyan sea under over a kilometre of water.

The Musashi was the second of the legendary Yamato-class ships built by the Japanese Navy, and the first one sunk (in my reckoning it's been sunk twice: I defeated two Yamato-class ships in a single war patrol in 1942 playing Silent Service II, meaning one was Yamato and one was Musashi). In fact, the game's manual features a great summary of the Battle of the Leyte Gulf (apologies for the ALL CAPS, but that's how it was typed):


Stop using glaciers to demonstrate "climate change"

Every once and a while a warmmonger will try to use glaciers to scare the populace into buying into their global warming lie.

This week's perpetrator of this falsehood is Renee Tratch from The Weather Network, who talks about how artists (who specialize in making stuff up) can teach us about global warming. No, seriously.

But it’s not just scientists who are concerned about the increasing vulnerability of ice. Artists have been finding beauty and tragedy in the planet’s rapidly changing landscapes ever since they first started exploring the world’s icy regions in the 1800s.

Torontonians need only to travel north to Kleinburg for a new perspective on ice. Until April 26, 2015, the McMichael Canadian Art Collection presents a unique look at climate change through its feature exhibition Vanishing Ice: Alpine and Polar Landscapes in Art, 1775-2012. The showcase of 70 works from the Whatcom Museum in Bellingham, Washington depicts a 200-year period of alpine, Arctic and Antarctic landscapes through the eyes artists, writers and naturalists.
Hey, remember when global warming scared the Victorian English into rejection industrialization and going back to the bubolic conditions in villages? No? Even though famed satirist and extremist author Charles Dickens told lies about the perils of industrialization in a way that makes David Suzuki look like a reasoned and sensible analyst?

Anyways, getting back to glaciers, Renee writes:
One of the most powerful is the juxtaposition of Arthur Oliver Wheeler’s 1917 image of the Athabasca Glacier in Jasper National Park and Gary Braasch’s 2005 photograph of the same location – a startling comparison of how much the glacier has disappeared.
It's only "startling" if, like Renee, you're expected to not ask the most obvious question:what do glaciers do?

The answer, for those who (also, like Renee) don't know, is that glaciers either expand (get bigger), or retreat (get smaller). Retreating happens in the summer, advancing in the winter. On balance the glacier will either gain or lose ground. Expecting a glacier in nature to remain at a stable equilibrium is patent nonsense. If the glacier is advancing, then it's a glacial period and on balance this would be very very very very very bad news. Fortunately we aren't in a glacial period right now, so that means that these glaciers will be...anybody? Anybody? Bueller?

Yes, that's right kids. Glaciers should all be retreating. If you see a glacier going the other way, run (though you can probably run pretty slowly).

Which leads us to the obvious question: if glaciers are all retreating, and we cannot envision a positive scenario in which they are not, then why on earth should glacier retreat be waved at us as a concern?

Here we have a picture of the 1917 versus 2005 pictures of the Athabasca Glacier. The green circle shown indicates the part of the glacier that has melted away. here's how it looked in 1964. What Renee and others like her don't want to tell you is that somewhere in that green circle is where the glacier is "supposed" to be if there was a universe with no humans in it, and they have no idea where that line would be.

They can show you where the glacier was in 1910. They can show you were the glacier was in 2010. What they can't show you, and what they'd like you to not ask, is where the glacier was in 1510, or 810, or 20,090 BC. At some point, if you're reading this in Alberta, the answer to where the glacier was is "right where you are standing". Would you prefer this? If yes, what the hell is wrong with you? If no, then what the hell is wrong with it being exactly where it is?

All manufacturing sector news is bad news for liberals

From the "why didn't Alberta just diversify their economy" file comes the news that Canada currently has the worst manufacturing levels in history, falling below the "50" line that separates growth from contraction.

"History" in this particular case begins in the fall of 2010

What's to blame for this news?

Today’s findings – they ended almost two years of “sustained expansion” - come, of course, amid the oil shock that has prompted companies to slash their budgets and, in some cases, their work forces.

“February’s data reflect the hit to confidence from the oil price shock with the weakness most evident in the energy-intensive regions of the country,” said chief economist Craig Wright of Royal Bank of Canada, which does the survey with Market and the Supply Chain Management Association.
Hey what do you know, it turns out you can't just declare oil to be "volitile" and pretend that everything else in this country isn't remotely related to oil and therefore becomes magically "nonvolatile".
“Lower levels of new work and reduced production volumes contributed to a fall in manufacturing payroll numbers if February,” it added.

“Staffing levels have now declined for two months in a row, and the rate of job shedding accelerated to its fastest pace in almost 4 ½ years. That said, a number of firms noted that payroll numbers had been lowered through hiring freezes and the non-replacement of voluntary leavers.”
So what was the ingenious NDP and Liberal plans to diversity Alberta's economy? Increase "corporate taxes"? Raise the tax rate on "the rich"? Has anybody taken the 30 seconds required to explain to them that if corporations are shedding payroll and reducing production volumes that raising their taxes won't help government coffers? Has anybody taken the additional 30 seconds to explain that reduced payroll plus tax hikes also reduce the number of "rich" to soak with the bill?


Your Eastern Bastards Freezing in the Dark update

Over in Collingwood, Ontario the frigid (read: Alberta normal) temperatures have burst water pipes and left hundreds without water services.

My kingdom for an SD slot

Samsung has unveiled it's latest Samsung Galaxy series smartphone this week, and the early indications are not good.

Apparently Samsung has decided that everybody who chooses an iPhone over their offerings loves no onboard storage and no removable battery.

Samsung, locked in a tight race with Apple to be the world's biggest smartphone maker, has unveiled an important new phone that ditches its signature plastic design for more stylish metal and glass.
The problem with this "metal and glass" is that with glass on both sides, the new Samsung will not have a removable battery or micro-SD card storage, two features which I'm pretty sure were significant order winners for the brand.

Let's talk about SD card memory first, it's the one that most people are going to be bothered by. When your iPhone fills up, screw you, your life is over. Well, until you transfer stuff to your computer (more on that later) and free up space. Seeing how Samsung is also busy filling up your phone's memory with shit you probably don't want and cannot get rid of, it seems cruel to tell the poor user that now he's stuck filling all his apps/pictures/songs/etc. on the palty 7.86GB of data that Samsung doesn't steal away from you on Day 1. Does it sound like the Galaxy S6 will come with less bloatware? Surprisingly, yes, which will help. But less isn't "zero", and less space is still less space: a micro-SD card in a Galaxy S5 can give you a boost from 7GB to 133GB, and if you want to transfer large amounts of data to and from the phone, pulling out the SDHC card and installing it in a computer instead of using USB is ten times faster, and can be done while the phone is off and recharging somewhere. This is a feature that I've used on my Samsung Galaxy numerous times, and losing it would be a huge blow. Also, when you store photos on the SD card, they are recoverable using (free) data recovery software, meaning that you're say forced by an unreasonable police officer or security guard or bitchy girl in a Hollywood club to delete pictures, it's child play to get them back. (Hint: after the incident set your phone to save pictures onto the phone rather than the SD card, don't transfer onto the SD card until you've had a chance to get your photos back). If the phone itself goes tits-up, the data on that card is instantly recoverable in a way that isn't if the phone malfunctions.

Your phone going tits-up, by the way, is a huge argument in favour of the other feature lost in the "upgrade" to a Galaxy S6: the removable battery. Quick quiz, hotshot: how often does your phone freeze up? If your iPhone freezes up, you can hope that this iPhone de-freezing method works. Here's a hint: if your de-freezing method involves holding buttons down, it probably doesn't work very well. You're left waiting for your iPhone's battery to die (and since your phone isn't doing anything, that's gonna be a while) before you can recharge it and restart the phone. Guess what, future Galaxy S6 customer: that's your future. Your phone (which should freeze less than an iPhone, thank God) if it hangs is useless to you until your battery wears down. (Luckily, Galaxy S6 will come with a smaller battery, we'll delve into that in a bit). Bear in mind that we've been discussing the lack of a removable battery and haven't even delved into the most popular argument in favour of a removable battery: the battery swap. It's not something I personally do, I use the rechargable brick method to extend my battery life. But I know of at least 4 Samsung Galaxy users who use this trick, and swear by it. It's also been useful for me in a previous life: when my phone was a Samsung slider and my battery died out at the bar, I was able to spot a guy who had the same phone as me, borrow his battery for 5 minutes, and communicate to people where to come pick me up. It ended up being a pretty wild house party that was saved by virtue of me having a phone with a removable battery.

So in return for a slightly prettier case, your new Galaxy S6 will be missing two critical features that highly benefit many if not most phone users. Specifically, it will be missing two features that make people chose it over Apple. Meanwhile, people will do with the slightly prettier case what they always do with slightly prettier cases: instantly put a case or cover over it. (Worth noting from that story: 87% of iPhone users put their phone in a case, despite "look of the phone" being the highest iPhone user's motivation to not-case). As trade-offs go, this one sucks. Like, really sucks.

So what else is new from the Galaxy S6?
Although the resolution of the phones' rear camera remains at 16 megapixels, cameras on both sides will have wider openings to let in more light and make for sharper photos. The phones also promise better focus and colour accuracy — achieved in part by using the infrared capabilities on the phones' heart-rate sensor to detect lighting conditions.
Okay, that's pretty cool. One of the big selling features of the Galaxy S5 was that it was far better at low-light photography than my Galaxy S4 is. Keeping this industry-winning quality is a good trick, and it's certainly going to help the S6 with sales. It seems odd, though, that the megapixels of the cameras aren't changing, especially the woefully inadequate 5MP camera that faces the user. I don't think cellphone makers realize how much selfies are taken, and how sometimes you actually want to see the quality of those mountains behind you.

Okay, I promised the battery was coming up, so here we go. What is the new Galaxy S6 going to give you for battery life?
Samsung is promoting the new phones' ability to charge quickly — in 30 minutes they can reach 50 percent.
Er, okay, sounds fun...but the fast charge thing shouldn't be too important if the bat...oh, nevermind...the battery has actually gotten smaller: only 2,550mAh instead of the 2,800mAh battery on the Galaxy S5. Samsung says they've extended the battery life, which every cellphone manufacturer on the planet always says about their new phones right up until the point where they get caught lying their asses off. So in return for a slightly lighter phone (which even power users wouldn't even really notice) you get a worse phone experience in the form of less time out and about with your phone. Yes, yes, you can charge it quick. That's great consolation when you're out for a nice long day (in Edmonton, summer days can feature a lot of outdoor time) and find yourself looking at a 24% battery level less than five hours into your journey. Yeah, so when you have to cut your plans short and run to a plugin, it's less time standing by a tree with a 110V outlet at the base of it. I'm not sure this is exactly a step up. In fact, I know it's not.

The Galaxy S6 does have a few more refinements versus its predecessor: it's replaced the chipset, taken steps to introduce "Samsung Pay", and improved the fingerprint scanner on the home button. I have an extra little hint for cellphone manufacturers here: nobody gives a shit. Nobody. Not a single shit. Sorry, but you're wasting time and money developing features nobody really cares that much about. The S6 does have a fancy new OLED screen, which should impress people quite a bit. Until it starts killing your battery or making your eyes hurt in a dark bar. Here the news the contrast settings are improved will help.

So there's your Galaxy S6: all the features that are already in the iPhone you bought, and none of the features that you wish your iPhone had that may convince you to switch. Apparently style is a bigger feature in phones than us real users give it credit for. Regardless, I'm hoping the S6 sales tank so badly that Samsung smartens up and gives us an S7 that's a little thicker but has SD memory and a removable battery. Oh, and a better pair of cameras would be nice. It doesn't have to be thinner and lighter if its less capable!


Which Canadian political party will improve military spending?

The federal government hasn't released it's 2015 budget yet, but it's widely suspected that when the budget is released, a NATO pledge will be ignored again.

Britain, Canada, Germany and Italy are all forecast to cut military spending this year, flouting an explicit promise not to do this, made at September’s Nato gathering in Wales. Nato nations are expected to spend a minimum of 2 per cent of gross domestic product on defence, but very few do so.
Hey, so all of those retards complaining about how "militaristic" the Harper government is are sure to apologize for their comments, right?

Meanwhile, what are the opposition parties doing? Canada is ignoring an international agreement, which they are usually so gung-go to criticize over. Canada is -- even worse to these statists in the Liberal and New Democrat parties -- ignoring an international agreement to spend money. Thomas Mulcair has so far voted against:
  • LAV III upgrades
  • Arctic patrol ships
  • RMC research
  • transport trucks
The NDP's trained seals at Rideau Institute barked over the plan to support Ukraine militarily on the grounds that "arms manufacturers" are profitting on them.

See what I did there? [Yes. -ed]

And what about the Shiny Pony? Well, today Justin Trudeau promised major infrastructure projects but nothing military-wise. We've seen in the past, from "whip out our F-18s to General Leslie's comments when recruited for Trudeau's international policy team, that Pierre Trudeau Jr. doesn't really have a military policy. The NDP would turn the LAVs into mobile fag-friendly safe injection sites and the arctic patrol vessels into Israeli flotilla blockade ships, we all understand this and can highlight the dangerous pacificst streak in the silly party. But Shiny Pony is a bit of a blank slate. He certainly doesn't have anything to give you the impression that he's going to compete with Prime Minister Harper on financing the military, let alone his own dad. His party has a hilariously light section on defence spending (in fairness, every section is just as airily empty) where literally every bullet point is about veterans:

The Conservative government has ignored its sacred obligation to care for the well-being of our troops returning home – and their families. Liberals will ensure that no veteran will have to fight the government for the treatment and compensation they have earned by putting their lives on the line for this country. We commit to re-opening the 9 Veterans Affairs Service Offices closed by the Conservative government
I'm not sure if the Liberal Party braintrusts have noticed this, but veterans affairs offices are not military expenditures.


Your Sarah Palin fact of the day

Post #2300, Baby!

Wow, that didn't take long at all, did it? 2200 posts was just a mere month ago, and now we're at 2300 and going strong.

This blog isn't going anywhere. It's going strong, and it's not moving.

As we're here, let's direct our attention to a Third Edge Sword feature I like to call "pathetic sniveling chickenshit liberal of the month". The title may change as contributors to this blog sober up.

Today's coward? Leslie Bush (yes, he has a girl's name. He has a vagina instead of balls, so it fits)

His hobbies include defacing public property, driving like he's a 75 year old woman, trashing the Greatest 21st Century US President, and the Alberta Party.

Leslie Bush is a pathetic coward. If you beat him in an argument, he hides under the covers like he's a woman. I just thought you should know that.

Stay tuned for next month's cowardly chickenshit liberal, and more posts as The Third Edge of the Sword aims for 2400!


The National Post isn't an expert on Islam

“Decorum is important. Hats and sunglasses, for example, are not allowed, and I don’t see why scarves on the head would be. The same rules need to be applied to everyone.”
With that line, another battle is brewing over head scarves being worn in a courtroom, as a Montreal judge refused to hear the case of one Rania El-Alloul who was in the docks over a car seizure. What was she wearing? Well, the article calls it a niqab.
But Judge Marengo refused to hear the merits of the case, citing a regulation governing court decorum that states simply, “Any person appearing before the court must be suitably dressed.”

She noted Ms. El-Alloul had said her hijab was a religious requirement. “In my opinion, the courtroom is a secular place and a secular space,” she said. “There are no religious symbols in this room, not on the walls and not on the persons.”

Canadian courts have wrestled with the issue of a witness wearing the niqab, which covers the entire face except for the eyes. The concern then was the right of an accused to assess a witness’s credibility by seeing her face. In 2012, the Supreme Court of Canada established a framework to be applied case by case to determine whether a witness could wear a niqab in court.
Seems all fine and good. I mean, of course, about the part banning wearing the niqab in court. Don't ask me, ask Salim Mansur. It's basically uncontestable.

So of course, that notorious Zionist National Post screws this article up by posting a completely misleading and irrelevent photo with the article: which it also screws up the caption on.

The niqab, as mentioned in the article, covers the face except for the eyes. The headscarf shown in the photo, which is misidentified as a niqab in the caption, does not cover the face and is, in fact, a...headscarf. Posting this photo gives the casual reader the impression that the judge banned this item of clothing and not the niqab, the article of clothing actually banned. For those wanting to keep score, a niqab looks like this:

Even a non-casual reader can be confused. Just ask Disqus commenters SMA or Lagoonatic.

RIP Leonard Nimoy

As you read this I'll be enjoying Leonard's favourite foods: steak and blueberry pie with ice cream.

Where? Smittys, I imagine, is the only place that offers both.

We don't need water, just a calendar

Notice something odd about this story?

I'll let you read it.

No? Okay, go read it again.

Still no?

The province is preparing firefighting crews, aircraft and other equipment for immediate deployment as the wildfire season begins on March 1.
Pace Jerry Seinfeld and milk expiration dates, has anybody told the wildfires yet?

Latest threat to West Edmonton Mall

Is there a terrorist threat at West Edmonton Mall? Colby Cosh draws the interesting parallel between Edmonton and Minnesota, home of the Mall of America (also a target): both have lots of violent Somalis in the mix.

Meanwhile, your risk of injury at West Edmonton Mall is still more likely to be falling concrete. Or Vietnamese gangs.


There are only two genders and they pick you

As many of you may know, my Facebook account was suspended because conservatives aren't allowed to use nom de plume's like liberals are.

Yet today Facebook went completely off the deep end with the announcement that you can make up any gender you want. You know, in case the 58 "genders" already available (only two of which, men and women, are actual genders) didn't appeal to you.

It's patently ridiculous: I can't use anything other than my real name that, with the exception of 3 people, not none of you who read this blog know. However, if my Facebook account re-appeared tomorrow I could tell you that my gender was God Reborn and Facebook would totally sign onto this. It's patently ridiculous. These people are mentally ill, and men like Ari Chivukula and Mark Zuckerberg are their enablers.

Hint: if you're looking for a "59th gender" to put for yourself try Real Man, not a sniveling faggot

"He looked Swedish, maybe Dutch, and had a fondness for chicken"

Remember, Edmonton: if you think a white man robbed you, he probably didn't.

Of course, here's a crazy question. Why the hell hasn't this asshole been deported?

Defence lawyer Deborah Hatch said Teklie, originally from Ethiopia, came to Canada from Africa and was in a Kenyan refugee camp for years. He is currently a permanent resident of Canada.

Harper Derangement Syndrome

Here's a handy photo to send somebody the next time they're going off the deep-end with the Harper-hate.


You may remember ages ago Mark Steyn completely demolished the hideous "pink shirt day".

Now, on pink shirt day 2015 Steyn took the "LGBTTIQQ2S" narrative and flipped it on it's sexually deviant head:

With all this orientation creep, straights are at something of a disadvantage. "Straight" isn't even an acronym: How lame is that? Maybe they could add a few variations, and make it Straight, Uptight, Repressed, Missionary Position Only, Alternate Saturdays Mostly, Keeping Your Socks On, and hold a parade for members of the SURMPOASMKYSO community.

In Defense of the Chicken Finger

The CanWest newschain has declared war on chicken fingers. No, seriously. Click the link if you don't believe me. (But you shouldn't, not just because I've never lied to you but also because there's one of those obnoxious videos that auto-plays when you open the story)

Adam McDowell wants us to believe that the rise of the chicken finger is some nefarious plot to poison children -- or at the very least, that poisoning children is a ignored side effect of the nefarious plot to not let huge amounts of perfectly good chicken go to waste.
Chicken fingers, Allen says, were seldom seen before 1990 or so, but by the end of the 1980s, fear of saturated fats turned many North Americans away from beef and toward chicken. Increased demand meant billions of additional chicken breasts were processed — but what was the industry to do with the tenders? The answer is on children’s plates.

We can look at Allen’s mini-history of a mini-food as a metaphor for how cuisine has come to be divided in contemporary North America: The prime cuts go to the adults while the less healthy morsels — dressed up in extra salt, fat and sugar and processed almost beyond recognition — end up on the kids’ menu, both in the family restaurants that traffic in such fare, and at home.
Allen in this place is Gary Allen, a "food historian" who has been peddling this narrative that avoiding waste and fulfilling a market requirement is some sort of evil scheme that he wishes he could have gone back in time to stop. This is why Mad Men rots your brain, of course: it's a Hollywood interpretation of what business people act like, as defined by people who only interact with businessmen when they have a stupid idea (like a movie about a girl who fantasizes about beating people up because she doesn't think she's crazy).

But if Allen took this crazy concept up the long ladder, McDowell steampunked it into the stratosphere. There's nothing "less healthy" about a chicken tender than a chicken breast. Allen himself praises Jamie Oliver for his work getting healthy-cooked chicken fingers (finger and tender, if you didn't already pick up on it, are interchangeable terms) into school lunch menus. All that extra fat and sugar and processing occurs because kids like that kind of shit. Allen probably learned somewhere in his undergraduate studies into food history that food tastes change as we age, so that those Fruit Loops loaded with sugar that seemed to appetizing at age nine seem much less palatable at age twenty-nine. Feed Duck Confit to a Grade 7 student in a school lunch and watch the entire building burn down within the hour, but slide them a pizza pop and they are as happy as a pig in shit. McDowell seems to think its a new phenomenon of feeding kids stuff they like, it's been perhaps more of a gradual change over the last century than some inherent paradigm shift. This idea that we've been feeding kids healthy food for millenia and then since 1970 switched to feeding them processed garbage isn't even remotely true. We all ate shit for millennia. Nobody knew what healthy eating was in 1775. Scurvy was a thing. The plenthora of treats available to the modern diet required the invention of the refrigerator: go back to where most copies of the National Post were sold and as recently as 1940 you had people who buried food in a pit in their backyard and hoped that the ice they tossed in there in February would be sufficient to keep it edible until the harvest.
For a generation, many North American parents have indulged children’s picky eating tendencies by sticking them in an endlessly repeating loop of chicken fingers, burgers, pizza, plain pasta, mac and cheese, and grilled cheese sandwiches. Anyone who has sat down for a meal with youngsters over the past 25 years will recognize this list of typical “kids’ foods."
Going back to the nonsense above about "prime cuts for adults, processed crap for the rest of us", half the menu items are for what is more commonly known as "pub food". Rather than being the ugly redheaded stepchild of the food family, these foods are just as "prime cuts" as any nice pork cutlet could be. We divorce ourselves, however temporarily, of adult contentions like "keeping our cholesterol low" or "not spending $18 on a hamburger" and just enjoy eating. You know, like kids do. Like we encourage kids to do. Like we (and kids) need kids to do.

McDowell has that all-too-common tendency of idealizing an occasional memory as the norm:
Mealtimes for children were quite different just a few decades ago. Over the past few months, I’ve spoken casually and in formal interviews with dozens of people about food and childhood. As a general rule, people who grew up in North America and are now over the age of 30 recall that when they were children, kids ate what the adults ate. Families usually dined together at the table. There might have been foods you didn’t like; depending on the rules of the house you might have been expected to try them or even finish them. Or you might have been free not to, as long as there weren’t too many foods you were refusing. Either way, it wouldn’t have occurred to you that an adult was going jump up from the table to prepare you something precisely to your liking. And if you didn’t eat, you might have to wait quite a while for the next opportunity: Studies show that North American kids snack more often and consume more calories than they did in the 1970s.
If you aren't careful there you might miss the segue into "snacking versus eating" that ignores something in these "dozens of interviews": kids eat what adults eat at the family sit-down dinners. However, adults only do this once or twice a day: when the kids are hungry they have a bowl of KD, or some mini pizzas. Kids, especially as they start getting into double-digit ages, want to eat all the time. This isn't "snacking" in the sense that McDowell wants to apply it: it's another meal. It's Merry and Pippin wanting a second breakfast. As food portions get bigger (as adults become busier) we start skipping meals because we no longer require them. Kids don't, so why wouldn't we specialize in their treats?
The busy house with a full freezer turns into something almost like a restaurant, and the kids get what they want, with the food industry playing an instrumental role in exploiting children’s preference for nutritionally dubious foods.
Can we play this game with Adam McDowell's industry too? The newspaper business plays an instrumental role in validating parents fears with hitpieces like "Death of the chicken finger", an intellectually dubious article that the Vancouver Province was more than willing to play along with.
For all these reasons, “I believe the children’s menu should be abolished — not by government intervention but by re-educating and making it culturally normal [for kids to eat adult food],” says Brian Tang, who runs a diverse-menued school-lunch catering company in Vancouver, Foodie Kids Inc., with his wife Michelle.
Hey look! Here's a capitalist trying to exploit the same fears as McDowell. Suddenly he's not nutritionally dubious or "willing to play along" with the hipster foodie revolution that decrees that kids should be joining in the "soy milk" fun when they'd rather have a grilled cheese sandwich.

For Christ's sake, he's telling us grilled cheese sandwiches weren't part of a kids' staple before 1970.

Of all the things that "death" needs to come to, people who try to feed you that line come long before people try to feed you chicken tenders. With plum sauce. And an amber lager.


Jim Prentice fiscal facepalm

I posted this to Twitter earlier today: a handy reminder that when leftists start bleating about the need to resume program spending (despite an $800M increase in spending from last year) just because of the news Alberta is expected to post a small "operational surplus" this year.

Conversation Graph

Mega News roundup

Al Jazeera examines corruption in Mexico, if you want an idea how bad things must be south of the Rio Grande

Four children have died in a fire in a rural Manitoba community. I don't even need to draw you to the obvious parallel, the commenters are doing that just fine.

Why do chicks want to join ISIS? Ask Spain, who just arrested four people involved in an online recruitment ring.

Spain has also ruled on Catalonia independence, saying the vote has to come from the central rather than regional governments.

Apple Computers have been ordered to pay up Smartfish who narrowly avoids the definition of a patent troll.

Of all the things that can kill you in Afghanistan, you may have forotten heavy snow, but 124 families never will.

Chris Brown has been barred entry to Canada while Drake is permitted to roam free?

What's being built at South Edmonton Common? Here's a possible candidate.

Target has turned a page in the United States as a result of many changes like free shipping, expanded digital sales, and getting the fuck out of Canada

What do a woman's hands say about her career? (insert dishpan hands joke here)

Benedict Cumberbatch weighs in on ruining Khan and playing a mentally ill faggy computer genius.

Birmingham (England, not Alabama, though they are similar) has just begun a massive tear-down and building project that will employ 1300 people and provide a shelter for 150,000 pigeons.

Are "The Troubles" really over? The son of a Sinn Féin activist was attacked with a bomb in what's said to be part of "simmering tensions in the Crossmaglen area

Drones have come to Paris. Authorities warn that you can tell a drone is nearby if you can hear a high-pitched really annoying whining sound and wait that's every populated area of France already.

Twitter coward and fake scientist Michael E Mann seems to associate himself with a statistically significant number of sex offenders.

Soccer teams in Greece are getting violent with each other in rashes of attacks that at the very least aren't austerity-related.

Roman Polanski isn't going anywhere anytime soon: the Polish judge has to do further study into the case before making any ruling.


Mega News roundup

A Calgary photographer catches an errant piece of Chinese rocket.

This is the lamest thing to complain to Gmail about ever

An exotic wasp is named after Tukka Rask. Its sting is almost as painful as being blown out in the third period of a playoff game

Facebook is the biggest drain on cellphone batteries, say researchers who don't play Simpsons: Tapped Out

Joan River's daughter says it would have been nice if the Oscars had bothered to mention Joan Rivers. I think it was just cover so they could avoid mentioning Finn Noergaard

Austrailian air traffic control technology can't even track planes right in front of them

Do the British get the best headlines because of their writers, or the best news?
That global warming pause has another 5, maybe 25 years left, max.
What do Keith Olbermann and Mark Steyn have in common? They're both in trouble for dissing Penn State 
Unions try to prevent new McDonald's in Brazil
Vancouver parents are shocked to discover the private school is...private?

Star Trek III wrapped up shooting several years ago. They mean Star Trek XIII perhaps?

Isn't globalization grand?

A child is dead and others are fighting for their lives after their mother smuggled Pakistani toxic chemicals into Canada to kill bedbugs in a plot that Larry the Cable Guy would reject as too loony.